The Tough Stuff: Dealing with Denim

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Hi friends,

It’s time for another “Tough Stuff” post. The title of this one has been sitting in my drafts since April- but I was inspired to really sit down and write this when a sweet follower of mine messaged me on Instagram and asked me how I made the decision to wear jeans as well as skirts.

WOW- I thought, this girl is really soul searching and wanting to please God in the way she dresses.

Her question really got me thinking though- how did we get to this point? Sometimes it just feels like it was always there, ya know?

Obviously the way we are raised has an influence on us, but in the case of my friend who messaged me, she explained to me that she was not raised in a modest home- that her mother walked around in very immodest clothing- and she had come to the decision on her own to dress modestly. This is such an encouragement!

So- why do I wear pants?

I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again because it’s true- I respect very much the decision many women make to exclusively wear skirts and dresses. However, I do not believe that this is explicitly commanded of us in the Bible- which is the source I personally use for my modesty standards. Let’s explore this a little bit more…

Going back to Adam and Eve in the garden. When they sinned and realized that they were naked, they tried to cover themselves with fig leaves, but later we see that this wasn’t sufficient in God’s eyes because he made them clothing of animals skins. And if we do a word study of the Greek word used in Genesis 3:20, “Garment” in Greek was the word “Kethoneth” which means “Tunic”. In it’s simplest form, this was a loose, sleeveless garment that went down to the knees. Rarely did it come to the ankles (this would have been a more wealthy format of a tunic). These tunics also extended to the neck. This garment was worn by both men and women.

(Reference for above)

The fact that these garments covered the shoulders and extended to the neck is the reason I do not wear low cut, strapless, halter, or spaghetti strap tops or dresses- (I’m sure my list could go on here).

Now, let’s move forward into Exodus for some more references. When God gave Moses the ten commandments he also gave instructions for going to the alter to make sacrifices. We can assume that they wore the above type of garment.

Notice here in Exodus 20:25 that God told them not to go to the alter by stairs because their “nakedness” would be exposed. We know they were not going to the alter unclothed – and a garment that only went to the knees, when going up and down stairs, is bound to expose your thighs. So the only logical conclusion in this situation is that thighs = nakedness.

So- let’s move onto the New Testament passage that we all are familiar with 1 Timothy 2:9:

We must keep this in context – In this situation, Paul is talking about the public worship setting. While women should always dress in modest apparel, this specific passage is referring to their apparel when they assemble to worship. Notice in verse 10  and 11, he goes on to say the woman’s role in a public worship.

That being said- women should not come to worship in flashy, gaudy apparel, and especially not immodestly. We should not want to draw attention to ourselves. Not to say that we should dress poorly, because I think that can also draw attention. But simply, modestly.

NOW- getting to the pants vs. skirt/dresses situation. Obviously, style and fashion has changed throughout the centuries. Women in that day and age could have “over done it” with flashy jewelry and hair braiding to draw attention to themselves, even if they were completely covered. Likewise today, we can draw too much attention to ourselves, even if we are completely covered. Also- if you remember from above. The Greek word for garment was one referenced and worn by both men and women.

No one bats an eye at men wearing pants- in fact I think we would all be a bit concerned to see a man wearing a tunic described above in this day and age. Now, don’t get me wrong here- I’m not pushing “whatever a man does a woman should do too”, because the Bible has specific roles for each that are different. I’m just trying to make the point, that no where is it specified that this garment is the only type we should still be wearing. We are given guidelines on how our hearts should be modest, and our dress will follow.

I personally do not feel it is wrong to wear jeans. Although, the state of the jeans is very important. Anything tight fitting and clingy that draws the eye to your curves should be avoided.

Also, am I showing up to worship service in jeans and a t-shirt? No. I believe that we should give our best to God, but I’m also not showing up in my wedding dress. There is a time and place for each of these types of garments. And while the degree of “fanciness”, if you will, may vary based on location and occasion- our modesty standards should not! (see this post where I go into more detail about this). What we do know, is that we should be modestly dressed not just at worship service, but always, because we are not to just be Christians at worship service, but always.

So- here are my personal guidelines for pants/skirts/dresses:

  • I won’t wear leggings as pants. I don’t think they should be worn by themselves. They do not have any “loose” qualities about them.
  • No skin tight jeans- no matter how popular they are.
  • No rips in jeans that show the thigh.
  • No shorts above the knee. No workout shorts above the knee.
  • No dresses or skirts above the knee.
  • No body-con dresses or skirts. Drawing too much attention to your curves, although covered, is not modest.

I’m about 50/50 with skirts/dresses and pants. I work in a business causal field and wear dress pants during the week that I always make sure are not too tight and I’ll wear jeans on Friday’s typically.

I think boyfriend jeans are a great modest option- they fit loosely, but are not too masculine.

I also like to layer my jeans with longer cardigans so as not to draw attention to the back.

This post definitely has me re-thinking a few pair of jeans I do own! It was such an encouragement to me to write this and study it again, and I hope this will help someone along the way. I would love to discuss this further if you have questions. Feel free to comment or send me an email from the contact page. Do you wear jeans and skirts? Let me know below!

XOXO -Taylor

16 Replies to “The Tough Stuff: Dealing with Denim”

  1. I love your balanced viewpoint on this! I also wear jeans in addition to skirts and dresses. You have some great guidelines when choosing jeans, it’s a good reference to keep.

    Reply

  2. I found this post to be very interesting. I was brought up in a strict religious environment and was a skirts/dresses only person until I was in my 30 s. My mother was adamant that women should always wear skirts/dresses.
    Mother passed away when i was in my 20 s and I got married and we started a family. My husband was more mainstream with regards religion and I started to attend his church which had more liberal views on many things.
    I gradually felt that I wanted to start wearing trousers but I didn’t seem to have the conviction to do anything about it. After many months of soul searching I mentioned it to my husband and he said that he didn’t mind if that was what I wanted to do. A few months later I discussed it with my friends – one of which used to attend my strict church and had moved on and had started to wear trousers. They offered help and support and one who was about the same size let me try on one of her pairs. It was a momentous moment for me and they really felt strange. I looked in a mirror and it didn’t look like me at all. Shortly afterwards I bought a pair of black trousers and wore them around the house at first. When I wore them in public at first I felt everyone was looking at me – they weren’t of course! For ages I made sure I wore a long cardigan or tunic to cover my bottom in the interest of modesty. I eventually wore them to the office and had a few comments from colleagues at first but they got used to seeing me in them.
    In recent years I have bought different styles and colours and am no longer quite so strict in covering my bottom in public. About 6 months ago I made the final step in purchasing my first ever pair of jeans. My mother would have been horrified! I hope my story may help other skirts only ladies who may be thinking about buying some trousers.

    Reply

  3. You did a great job with this article and I 100% agree with you! I wrote on this on my “What I Wear” page on my blog to serve as a description of my standards for my readers. I think where most skirt-only girls develop their argument from Deut. 22:5 which says each gender should not wear clothing that pertains to the other. Contextually, this is speaking of what we would now call cross dressing. I believe, like you mentioned, that clothing evolves with time and we would be appalled to see a man in a tunic. Now, pants can be just as feminine as masculine. I’d be afraid to see a man wear pants in some of the colors and patterns you wear 😂. Also, I see so many skirt girls wearing baseball caps (which I think is fine), but I fail to see how that flies, but pants don’t. I respect others who choose to wear skirts only, but I wish they would put the scripture into context. I wear pants/skirts 25/75 because I have trouble finding modest pants that fit appropriately and skirts are just an easier choice for my current lifestyle as a preacher’s wife. Thank you for being an advocate for modesty!

    Reply

    1. Thanks for making these points, Samantha! Any one reading this comment- I definitely recommend reading Samantha’s “What I Wear” Page (lick the link in her name on this comment :))

      Reply

  5. You wrote a wonder post about this. After reading comments I think I have a different perspective on modesty and women wearing pants. I grew up wearing pants and shorts and it wasn’t until I was married that I felt strongly that I should wear skirts and dresses. I read a book called Dressing with Dignity years ago that and the one thing that has stayed with me all these years later is women move, walk and behave differently in dresses and skirts vs. pants. Now, I don’t think short skirts are modest at all and in those cases pants would be a more modest option for someone. I actually love the look of certain washes on denim and last winter came across a picture of a women wearing a dress over jeans and fell in love with the style. (No more cold legs in winter!) So now I have one pair of jeans in my closet for that purpose. I’m curious to try long tunics over jeans and see what I think but after 8 years of not wearing pants I wouldn’t want to go back. Skirts and dresses just feel more feminine to me. Love your post and standards for pants. I think they set a good example for anyone looking for a modest way to wear pants.

    Reply

    1. Hi Christina!
      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I really like the style of dresses over jeans too! Thanks for standing up for modesty <3
      ~Taylor

      Reply

  6. Thanks for this thoughtful post! As a girl with some curves, I have found it very difficult to find modest jeans that actually fit. I usually do capris or basketball shorts because they’re easier to find. But I did recently get a pair of capri-length jeans and wear them around the house. I think your pants look modest and feminine- thank you for being a great example of modesty + balance!
    love in Christ,
    Claudine
    https://whatdinnywore.com

    Reply

  7. Hello 🙂
    Just read your post and I agree whole heartily that the Bible does not teach jeans is wrong. However I don’t wear them for personal reasons of the heart during a rebellious stage in my life. My only thought is, I do like how you made jeans look so modest, but me being a very curvy girl none of these tips would really work to well to make jeans modest on me. You are a little thing. Doesn’t matter what kind of trousers I put on they always hug my hips my rear everything or if they don’t they don’t stay up. It would be nice to see pictures and ideas for how bigger gals can wear trousers more modestly if at all. I do a lot of Gouchos, sweatpants, and skirts and dresses. New modesty ideas would be great for different body shapes. Just a thought. Thanks!

    Reply

  8. Hello! This has been something I have done a lot of soul searching on and came to your same conclusion! I was raised in a pretty strict religious environment in regard to clothing and recently made the decision to start wearing pants. My jeans tend to be skinny jeans. I am a curvier person, I have a bum and it can be a little bit hard to hide sometimes. Not only that, but my thighs are also kind of big so it’s extremely difficult finding loose fitting jeans that are comfortable and also fit correctly! Because of this, I feel I am stuck with my skinny jeans. No matter how “loose” the jeans are that I try and find, they always fit me tightly. If I size up, they are very loose around my waste area and tend to be very uncomfortable. I used to pay no mind to my bum when I wore my skinny jeans and was completely oblivious to the fact that my jeans hugged every nook and cranny 😅. God recently convicted me of it, so I am currently trying to obtain more dresses as well as longer shirts to pair with my skinny jeans. It’s quite difficult honestly and a little bit frustrating/discouraging. Finding those looser jeans has been the most challenging part of this but God-willing I’ll find some soon! 😊 (btw, I love your style!! It’s so cute!! I would love to dress like that! Great modesty standards!)

    Reply

  9. Hi,

    Great article! I have a question on where to begin revamping my clothing apparel. I am 4 months postpartum and my hips have widen, so most of my loose pants fit me tight. I don’t have time to go to the store to try on new pants so I don’t even know what size to buy. Luckily I am home alone for the most part, but the Lord gave me a daughter so I want to be that modest dress example to her. I unfortunately grew up in a home where my mom would dress me sexy a young age to try to get me “scouted” to be “famous”🙄 . With this new postpartum body and being a mommy I see this as an opportunity to move away from the leggings and tight clothes I wore when I was younger and to start honoring God in my daily apparel. Where do I begin?

    Reply

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